The Holy Empire of Puppet State 309 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working population of 3.785 billion Puppet State 309ians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.0%.

The very strong Puppet State 309ian economy, worth 255 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Gambling, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 67,533 bitcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 236,545 per year while the poor average 13,999, a ratio of 16.9 to 1.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and Leader's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Puppet State 309's national animal is the porpoise, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Puppet State 309 is ranked 104,825^th in the world and 65^th in Silly for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 33.53 on the Bus Surprisal Index.